Episode 38-Somedays You're Like Water

https://ia601903.us.archive.org/8/items/CeskyLivesEpisode38-someDaysYoureLikeWater/Clep38-someDaysYoureLikeWater.mp3

 

This weeks song is a bit of a mystery to me. I know it has something to do with depression, anxiety and such, things I've had/have, this is not oversharing either I don't think, many of us are in the same boat no? Recently my mind, my perspective on pretty much everything has been shifting drastically, hopefully permanently. I've had not an especially difficult external life, but internally it's been a raging mess for way too long and this song I think is about the limbo period I'm living right now, in between that raging mess and whatever it is that comes next. I watched a youtube video on "The Black Dog", a fairly straight down the line illustrated narrated thing about depression and seeing the world through a grey kind of haze, feeling nothing, and I had a bloody good cry, which was great, and important I think, dark things live in us all to some extent, if we don't have a way to let them out they'll stay forever. Some odd and nasty creatures have been living in me for a long time, and I've had enough. It's hard work living with a mind that won't just let you be,  think that's what this song is probably about, that and the hope for a better way.

Episode 37-Damage

 

https://ia601002.us.archive.org/25/items/CeskyLivesEpisode37-damage/CLEP37-Damage.mp3

This weeks song is a Cure-esque/Low-esque, (if you haven't heard Low then check them out, especially if you like the Cure), synthy, crunchy guitar slow tune with minimal lyrics about heavy times and acknowledging them, and surviving them. Surviving them through acknowledgment rather than self medication, further bad decisions etc... It's the result of my current outlook, which is partly cloudy with a chance of showers, clearing someday I'm told if I sit them out, and sit them out I will. The sitting out of these things is really what this tune is about, letting them be, because they just are, whether you like it or not, and riding them out so to speak. Hope you like it.

Episode 36-Steeper Lines

http://ia601902.us.archive.org/7/items/CeskyLivesEpisode36-steeperLines/Clep36-steeperLines.mp3

This weeks song is a bit of a mystery to me, I wrote it fairly quickly after much deliberation with a couple of ideas that just weren't working, it was like popping a pimple, squeezing and squeezing at the thing and then BANG! yellowy stuff all over the mirror. I know some of it is about Jesus, and the way my mind is currently undergoing some reconstruction, some growing up I hope, experience and such pushing me into a new phase of who knows what, but it seems to be positive. Other than that it just is what it is, a bunch of words trying to explain something that I really can't pin down I guess. Have a listen anyways, see what you think.

Episode 35-Shop Talk For Puppies

http://ia601001.us.archive.org/9/items/CeskyLivesEpisode35-shopTalkForPuppies/Clep35-shopTalkForPuppies.mp3

 

Here's episode 35, a song about how a mans heart is much like a dog who wants to be taken for a walk. Not many men will admit that, but it's true I think. It's a bit of a sappy song I guess, sort of, close as I'll get to something folks like Bruno Mars would sing maybe, poppy content skewed a little bit through my own sensibilities and such. Simple little song, hope you like it.

Episode 34-Collector Of Stains

http://ia601008.us.archive.org/23/items/CeskyLivesEpisode34-collectorOfStains/Clep34-collectorOfStains.mp3

 

Here's episode 34, a tune about the late great Dennis Hopper. I've wanted to write a song about this guy for a while but it never came until this week, and now here it is. He had a crazy life, five divorces, (four, one still in the process when he died in 2010), spending a few months of his life couped up in a run down cinema with guns and drugs editing 40 hours of footage shot for a film about making a film where the money runs out so the director makes cameras and equipment from wood and such and just keeps making his film in some fantasy crazy person way, creating "The Last Movie", which was a financial and critical flop because he had full control over the editing and was off his face most of the time, (by his own admission). I'd still like to see it though, the idea is gold I reckon. He fought bulls, he nearly blew himself up with dynamite at a speedway, he went on a crazy vision quest in a Mexican jungle and had intimate relations with a tree, (that's what he was found doing by the folks who went in after him after he'd been missing a long while, and they air lifted him out), he partied with a troupe of mimes, he taught Elvis a little about acting and he was buddies with James Dean. What a life huh, ad that's not even the half of it.

Episode 33-Green River Sing

 

http://ia601002.us.archive.org/1/items/CeskyLivesEpisode33-greenRiverSing/Clep33-greenRiverSing.mp3

 

This weeks song is about the Green River Killer, Gary Ridgway. Randomly looking up news items to write about I came across this fella confessing to more murders than he's confessed to originally back when he was caught, put on trial and given something like 48 consecutive life sentences. The guy horrified me, he was bland about what he'd done, kinda lifeless. The audio at the start of the song is taken from an interview with him where he's explaining how he used his son to fool women into thinking he was a harmless, regular kinda guy. His childhood was a horrific mess, his mum was abusive in excessive ways and amounts, and as a child he went around killing peoples pets. I guess what I've tried to do with song is capture some of the creepiness and the desperate situations some of the women were in that he picked up, (prostitutes and runaways). Also, if anyone's heard the song John Wayne Gacy Junior by the great Sufjan Stevens, I guess in a way I'm nodding to that as well, that song blows a hole in my chest every time I hear it.

Episode 32-With Your Eyes

http://ia801000.us.archive.org/15/items/CeskyLivesEpisode32-withYourEyes/Clep32-withYourEyes.mp3

This weeks tune is about emotional honesty. I heard a story about a lady in the Bible who wept at Jesus feet and wiped them with her hair and poured perfume on them that she'd just bought and was probably about to take home when she heard that Jesus was about and then stopped by to have a listen and a peek like loads of people were. I've heard this story a lot of times but this time it was pointed out to me that what she did was not some cultural norm, she broke down and did some crazy stuff right there in front of a whole lot of people, Jesus was told he shouldn't let het touch him because apparently she was a little dodgy but he said what she'd done was good, she showed him how she felt, that she was broken, and he healed her. So the song is about that, as well as being about honesty in general and not pretending that you've got it all together, not necessarily being a huge self defeatist wreck, but nor being super bright when you're really not. I think you can read fakeness from a mile off and this song is an encouragement to just be yourself, even if that hurts some, because it's a better way to be. Not that I have a handle on this myself, but I try at least.